I was supposed to wake up at 5 AM this morning and go running. Instead I slept in until 8 AM, lazed around, went to the coffee shop, at a savory croissant, and drank a delicious cup of coffee. Generally I would beat myself up about this for the next week, but today I gave myself permission to do it. To listen to myself, to take time off, to just be. That is awesome. That is growth.
It’s been almost a year since our (not even remotely mutual) decision to divorce and Mase and I have had a strained relationship for most of it. Today we got together, ate lunch, took a walk, worked at a coffee shop, and had dinner together. He was my best friend for five years and it’s nice to know we are both willing to put in the work to figure out how to build a post-marriage friendship.
It’s forty degrees and raining again in Seattle. Luckily, I am well-equipped with rain-ready clothing. My boots and coat made the two hour walk I just took very comfortable in what could have been rather miserable conditions.
8 thoughts on “8/365”
The combination of coffee and croissant always makes me think of breakfast at the French Market in New Orleans on a family vacation when I was about 10. Due to my age it was hot cocoa and croissant. My ex and I went much our separate ways after divorce, both socially and geographically. I applaud the effort to work on the relationship by both of you. The well equipped walk in the rain sounds lovely.
It’s so great how food can bring back such vivid memories.
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It’s great to give yourself permission to stop & smell the coffee!! Relaxing is something we rarely do for ourselves. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy; putting pressure on ourselves. I used to beat myself up if I missed a workout. Now, I find if I skip one day, tomorrow will always be better. That’s the beauty of life; it starts all fresh with the dawn of a new day! Namaste.
It all starts fresh.
My favorite relationship right now happens to be with my ex-husband. Took us three years to get here; where I can look at him and only want to be his friend. It’s so incredibly nice.
I’m so glad to hear you’re successful with this! That’s awesome.
This may sound like I’m seeking for relationship advice or some words to make me feel all right. But it has been a struggle in my head. I’ve been wanting to give up our relationship. So much differences and fighting and keeping hurts. But we love each other so much I know. Sometimes though, love is not enough. And I have made up my mind to let go so many times but I am not strong or brave enough to willingly surrender and just put a halt to everything. But MOST TIMES I feel we need to.
Sometimes I hope I can skip the hard part, the part of breaking up and letting go and gathering all my stuff on boxes, segregating his from mine. Just skip the heart ache and all the drama. Just be there in that moment like yours. Wake up and walk towards him waiting on a coffee shop feeling all the love we have for each other – but only as friends and knowing we are finally… genuinely happy where we are….
I like to say it works like that, but it’s always more complicated than other people make it sound.
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