I was supposed to wake up at 5 AM this morning and go running. Instead I slept in until 8 AM, lazed around, went to the coffee shop, at a savory croissant, and drank a delicious cup of coffee. Generally I would beat myself up about this for the next week, but today I gave myself permission to do it. To listen to myself, to take time off, to just be. That is awesome. That is growth.
It’s been almost a year since our (not even remotely mutual) decision to divorce and Mase and I have had a strained relationship for most of it. Today we got together, ate lunch, took a walk, worked at a coffee shop, and had dinner together. He was my best friend for five years and it’s nice to know we are both willing to put in the work to figure out how to build a post-marriage friendship.
It’s forty degrees and raining again in Seattle. Luckily, I am well-equipped with rain-ready clothing. My boots and coat made the two hour walk I just took very comfortable in what could have been rather miserable conditions.
Today I saw an ivy plant growing up a fence post. It didn’t seem to be hanging on to anything, just pressing hard and reaching. I feel a lot like that lately. Suspended in air, but somehow still moving forward, up. I’m glad to know other things are doing it successfully.
I took myself out dancing last night. Came home at 12 AM all sweaty and smiling. I haven’t gone out dancing at a bar since I was like 19 probably. Sure, I’ve been to shows and what not, but not a dance floor and a DJ type thing. It was a blast. I am so grateful to my friend who told me about the event in the first place and all the people I asked to give me pep talks about going out alone.
Coffee. I needed a lot of coffee today. And there was plenty of it.
Despite going to bed at two in the morning, I still got up at five to go running. The city was asleep and I had the trail around the lake completely to myself.
I left my wallet on home by accident, but the barista at Broadcast Coffee gave me my macchiato for free without hesitation.
It was snowing this morning, but now it’s nothing but blue skies and sunshine. I can’t remember a New Year’s Day that wasn’t gorgeous out, but this one feels like an especially good sign.