This morning between my math exam and work I had an excellent phone conversation with my mother.
Tonight I saw a man exercising his dog by driving loops in a parking lot with his smart car, his dog running happily behind.
She asked if I was okay and I said, “Yeah, I’m fine.” So she asked again.
I am so profoundly happy to have Tuli–the only tiny dog I’ve ever loved–and the rest of her incredible family in my life. I’ve never been so known, and had the knowing held so close, by anyone who isn’t blood.
Today I had a tattoo consultation about getting roses on my chest next month. I’m thrilled to have a tattoo artist who knows me and who I trust. I went in with a very vague idea and left feeling confident and terribly excited.
Portland got hit with a ton of snow last night. I’m relieved that Seattle was spared the same fate. Cold and clear up here tonight with a gorgeous view of the moon.
I started being serious about taking medication for my depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and whatever else in September of 2015. I’d tried it on and off since I was a teenager, but I was never very motivated to take it and my compliance was incredibly low. I’d asked my primary care physician for anti-depressants once as an adult, but when it completely knocked out my sex drive I abandoned the whole idea.
Since then, I’ve seen a psychiatrist and two psychiatric nurse practitioners regularly. I also saw several different psychiatrists in the hospital and my stay in a psych ward last October. I currently have someone I see monthly who I respect and am confident in. Over the last month we’ve changed up my medications a little and seem to have landed on something that is working well for me. I am so incredibly grateful to my professional team and my prescription drugs. They changed everything. They saved me.
Nadine and I used to walk around Green Lake once a week. We’ve recently gotten out of the habit, but I’m sure we’ll fall back in. There were these two dogs who always seemed to be there the same time we were. Pitbull mixes with sharp ears and short legs, they walked around the lake as if they were on patrol. They owned that territory. One day, one of the dogs was missing. Then we stopped seeing them all together. But today on my run I saw both dogs back on duty. I couldn’t stop smiling.
My friend George–who I’ve known since I was thirteen–came to visit me the last couple days. Before he left today he tidied up the entire apartment and took care of a branch that was hanging right at eye level on our sidewalk. No wonder I’ve kept him around.
Ruby Pipes 