You heard it before you knew what was happening, before you were even fully conscious, opening your eyes to the dark and to the sound. A ghostly sob behind hypnopompic curtains, fuzzing into your dream like an alarm clock. And maybe it was an alarm, in a way. Not the ring-ring-ring kind, but an alarm of another variety. An alert, a Mayday signal from your subconscious, saying wake up and feel this.
You woke after the crying had already started, the pillow wet beneath your cheek. You tried to keep the noise down, so as not to wake him. Because you wanted to be polite in your grief, because you didn’t want him to ask. Because you didn’t know the answer.
But you also needed to get it out. Out of your body as if it were something you could retch up from your stomach and out your throat. It would come out heavy and hard because that’s how long it’s been sitting there. Shoved down, stuffed down, pressed harder and harder into a ball. Your own personal diamond.
What happened to you? What is going on in those delta waves? When did this start? You never used to do this, did you?
No. I didn’t.
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Shannon Noel Brady is a multi-genre author of novels and short stories. Her blog muses on the craft of writing with pieces of fiction interspersed.
Would you like to have your work featured on this blog? Send an email to rubyabrowne[at]gmail.com.
Ruby Pipes 
Sounds like a powerful feeling, whatever it is. Wonderfully written 🙂
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Doesn’t it? Isn’t it?
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What was it? Where, from the inside or outside, did it come from? Is it from the distant past, the present, or a future? Or, is it just pure feeling, with no reference in words or pictures? Written so, do any of those question matter – something that just is or was – something strong and deep – without those details it is universal.
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It is universal, isn’t it? Gorgeous writing.
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It is incredible the way our bodies sometimes know what our conscious minds reject. I continue to marvel at the way my subconscious sends these subtle wake up calls into both my sleeping and waking moments. This is splendid writing. It captures so much emotion and essence of humanity. It transforms beyond the words on the page.
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Wow, thank you so much for such an amazing comment, Lulu! The subconscious is a truly powerful thing.
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You’re very welcome! 🙂
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Splendid! Yes!
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Reblogged this on Pointing Telescopes | Shannon Noel Brady and commented:
For this week’s post, here is prose-poem I guest-wrote for Ruby Browne’s blog, about the subconscious ways our emotions find their way out. While you’re there, I highly recommend reading some of Ruby’s writings about mental health. She’s amazing.
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