Tag: thoughts

Mental Health

Shiver

Ruby Pipes6 Comments

"Empty" © Josh James, 2011. CC BY 2.0.
“Empty” © Josh James, 2011. CC BY 2.0.
It can be hard to get up again. Tough to get going. All worn down, but still rough around the edges. I can never tell if I can blame the cold, the long weekend, hormones, medication, caffeine consumption, or 5K races. Never tell if there is any sense in blaming.

Two hours to get two feet on the floor. Another hour before I even start to think about eating. Trying to decide how I can get out of the commitments I’ve made today. Continue reading →

Autobiography

Peel

Ruby PipesLeave a comment

"Pomegranate" © Klearchos Kapoutsis, 2010. CC BY 2.0.
“Pomegranate” © Klearchos Kapoutsis, 2010. CC BY 2.0.
We’ve always admired great thinkers. Creators. Innovators. People lost in their own heads. Scrawling on whiteboards, filling notebooks, building things. They ignite fires. When your brain is full of tangibility it’s something worthy of applause. You are solving problems. It’s a different kind of process than rumination, than introspection, than exploration.

People love to tell me I think too much. Explain how much simpler my life would be if I shut down my constant probing. Fishing for the whys and hows of everything I do. A switch I can flip and stop being reflective. I can’t find the line, though. Where we distinguish between the thoughts that occupy other thinkers and the thoughts that occupy me. We’ve become inoculated with the idea everything directed inward is dangerous. Shut it down. Shut it down. Continue reading →

Personal Development

Practice

Ruby Pipes14 Comments

"Rotten Wood" © Paula Bailey, 2004. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
“Rotten Wood” © Paula Bailey, 2004. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
In mindfulness meditation I’m learning how to pay attention. Watch where my thoughts go and then bring them back to where I’m trying to keep my focus. Dandelion seeds floating in the air, they dance around unaware of the fact that they are “supposed” to be doing something.

You can’t pass judgment on where your brain decides to go. It’s interesting. It’s something to pay attention to. But there is never anything wrong with what you’re thinking about. There is no direction you’re supposed to head. The mind does what the mind will do you and you just have to let it. Coax it back to your breath. Ease it back into your center. Try not to get angry or frustrated with how it behaves when you let it run around without you. None of it has to mean anything. It doesn’t have to hold weight. Doesn’t have to change, define, or shape anything about you. It just is and that’s all it has to be. Continue reading →