Poetry

Make it fit

Untitled” © Silvia Sala, 2012. CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

for Pat K.

She called my writing courageous
I tried to climb inside the word
Wear it like a second-hand jacket
which once held stories that were not mine
but now would only know the slope of my shoulders
and the place my elbows bend

Wanted desperately for it to fit
Turned it over in my hands
Traced all the stitches with my fingertips
sure I’d find it falling apart at the seams

But it was true enough
It fit well enough

No matter how well I know
it’s all about the things
still layered underneath

Feelings there are no words for

Not yet

Autobiography

Red, white, and green

"White-Pine-Aurora" © Charlie Stinchcomb, 2005. CC BY 2.0.
White-Pine-Aurora” © Charlie Stinchcomb, 2005. CC BY 2.0.

Last night I had a series of dreams that woke me up at six o’clock this morning, drenched in sweat and clutching my chest. Deep breath. Deep breath. Okay, you’re okay. I splash cold water on my face and curl back into bed with Mason.

The omnipresent list of things I need to get done today starts its march through my head, but I stop it. I remind myself that it’s a holiday. I did all the cooking yesterday, Mason’s gifts are wrapped and under the bookshelf. Today there is nothing pressing. Today is just for breathing, for loving, for peace. Continue reading →

Addiction

Glass

"Dark Skies" © Fraser Mummery, 2011. CC BY 2.0.
Dark Skies” © Fraser Mummery, 2011. CC BY 2.0.
It used to be leaping from my chair and, in one grand swoop, clearing my desk of everything. A smashed computer screen, pens, paper, and a couple half-full glasses of water littering the floor. “Look at me!” I wondered how you didn’t notice. “Please, just look at me.”

Now my posture tightens. Teeth clench. I don’t break eye contact and I steady my breath. In a moment indiscernible from the next the glass I’m holding is crushed in my hand. Fragments embed in the folds of my skin, sparkling water and a lime wedge. I don’t flinch, just cock my head. “You were saying…” Continue reading →