Personal Development

True Grit

 "winter frost" © Gail Fisher, 2010. CC BY 2.0.
winter frost” © Gail Fisher, 2010. CC BY 2.0.

For four days I did the same thing over and over out of necessity. I slept in and then stayed curled up in bed. On occasion I would transfer to the couch and fall asleep again. I’m always astounded by how quick I become used to being sick. It becomes my normal, my routine. I get entrenched in the monotony and forget it hasn’t always been like this.

I start to wonder if I’m still sick or if I’ve just gotten used to doing next to nothing. It takes less than a week to adapt to feeling powerless, but every ounce of self-discipline you can muster to get your power back again. Continue reading →

Mental Health

As February Approaches

 "Grateful" © Tom Malavoda, 2014. CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.
Grateful” © Tom Malavoda, 2014. CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

February is coming.

We talk about how to plan an attack before I even think about the sunlight we get back now that solstice has passed. The mile-markers fly by with minimal recognition. I’m always bracing for something.

I want to feel like I’m moving forward, but every year it floors me. I try to tell myself that this year, yes, this year I can plan better. I can stick to the plan easier. I can do this. Every year I wonder what I have to figure out to make it different than the last. Then I wonder if it’s time to start blaming myself. Like I somehow force myself into bottoming out just by assuming I will. Continue reading →

Poetry

The Morning Run

"Early Morning #1" © Dan Wartnaby, 2006. CC BY-NC 2.0.
Early Morning #1” © Dan Wartnaby, 2006. CC BY-NC 2.0.

An alarm clock that turns on a light
slowly
over the course of thirty minutes.

I still set my phone
to scream at 6 AM.
Just in case.
For consistency.

Some days I get out of bed easy.
Put on shorts, a sports bra, a tank top.
Pull on a highlighter-green hoodie.
Slip into electric-pink running shoes.
Head out the door. Continue reading →