Today I saw an ivy plant growing up a fence post. It didn’t seem to be hanging on to anything, just pressing hard and reaching. I feel a lot like that lately. Suspended in air, but somehow still moving forward, up. I’m glad to know other things are doing it successfully.
I took myself out dancing last night. Came home at 12 AM all sweaty and smiling. I haven’t gone out dancing at a bar since I was like 19 probably. Sure, I’ve been to shows and what not, but not a dance floor and a DJ type thing. It was a blast. I am so grateful to my friend who told me about the event in the first place and all the people I asked to give me pep talks about going out alone.
Coffee. I needed a lot of coffee today. And there was plenty of it.
I met with my new medical doctor today. She’d actually read my chart and knew I’m bipolar and have been hospitalized for suicidal ideation. I’ve never had a new doctor come in prepared like that. It felt good to not have to bring it up myself, especially since I’m so prone not to.
On my way to pick up lunch today I saw this man in his car rocking out. Like, really just getting down with his car dancing. It made me so happy to see someone having so much fun in such a regularly dull part of the day.
This afternoon I had a customer come in and first thing she came up to thank me for the help I gave her the day before. She said it was just the boost of confidence she needed to get her jewelry legs back under her. I was so glad that I helped her and so touched that she took the time to thank me again.
We dance and scream and get sweaty.
We forget everything happening
outside of those crackling speakers
in that tiny basement club.
We remember what it feels like
to be safe in our own skin.
We become a unit, an undulating mass
of hands and arms and stomping feet.
We do not exist outside of this.
We are invincible.
We are free.
Photo courtesy of Hannah Rodrigo .