Relationships

Rattlesnake

Ruby Pipes2 Comments

"Sunset" © Paul Rysz, 2013. CC BY 2.0.
“Sunset” © Paul Rysz, 2013. CC BY 2.0.
As teenagers we knit ourselves tight. A collection of creatures people on the outside considered crass. Ruthless. At the time, that’s what made it validating. If they hate everyone, but they like me, I must have something special. If they are malevolent, but cordial to me, I must be a stellar human being.

It took me years to realize people are the same to everybody. The old first date adage of, “Pay attention to how he treats the waiter, not how he treats you,” is true. It’s rare that you are seeing the real person and everyone else is seeing a front. You are not the exception to the rule. No matter what part of the snake you’re holding, the teeth find a way to come back and bite you. Continue reading →

Writing

Different Light

Ruby Pipes5 Comments

"Night Light" © Doug Wheller, 2011. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
“Night Light” © Doug Wheller, 2011. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
“When I’m painting regularly I start looking at the world different. I notice the way the light hits a tree. I see shadows between leaves. I see the gradual change between shades of green. I notice all the little parts of it. And then I see the whole tree.”

How we spend our time doesn’t only change the time we’re spending. It bleeds into everything. Your existence becomes tinted. Our thoughts, our habits. We reflect them back to ourselves. Constantly shifting. Our creativity is like any muscle that grows or atrophies depending on its use. A central theme to build around. Something to color everything. Continue reading →

Personal Development

Practice

Ruby Pipes14 Comments

"Rotten Wood" © Paula Bailey, 2004. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
“Rotten Wood” © Paula Bailey, 2004. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
In mindfulness meditation I’m learning how to pay attention. Watch where my thoughts go and then bring them back to where I’m trying to keep my focus. Dandelion seeds floating in the air, they dance around unaware of the fact that they are “supposed” to be doing something.

You can’t pass judgment on where your brain decides to go. It’s interesting. It’s something to pay attention to. But there is never anything wrong with what you’re thinking about. There is no direction you’re supposed to head. The mind does what the mind will do you and you just have to let it. Coax it back to your breath. Ease it back into your center. Try not to get angry or frustrated with how it behaves when you let it run around without you. None of it has to mean anything. It doesn’t have to hold weight. Doesn’t have to change, define, or shape anything about you. It just is and that’s all it has to be. Continue reading →