Them
The world fell down around us.
Crying on couches. Heads in hands.
But when we drove home
we rolled down the windows,
sang until our throats ached.
And I knew I at least am still safe
with them.
Photo courtesy of Aaron Burden.
Author: Ruby Pipes
Love Trumps Hate
I went to bed at eleven o’clock last night with Donald Trump on the verge of taking over the presidency. Woke up at two-thirty this morning to find out it had happened. Physically ill doesn’t even begin to describe it. My whole body aches. How could something like this happen? How could my country be so full of hatred and fear it would elect a man based on those beliefs?
It’s three in the morning and I’m crying at my computer. Terrified for our future. Ashamed that I live in a place where half the country would rather have an actual racist take the office of president than a well-qualified and smart (to put it lightly) woman. I can’t gather my thoughts. This just doesn’t make sense.
What I can tell you is that we will not run away. We do not get to simply leave the country. We do not get to say, “Well, I voted for her, so…”, or “I wanted Bernie!”, or whatever talk about how the whole system is fucked. No. Now begins the work of rebuilding. Of reclaiming. Of finding out how we have created a system so fueled by hatred and fear that this was even of option and working hard to fix it.
So dissent. Protest. Put your money into foundations working hard to protect our rights, our freedoms. Bring your boots to the streets. Talk to your neighbors. Fight. We do not get to run away now. Now we have to fix this. Because no matter how terrifying and flawed our country is–especially right now–it is ours. And we need to start acting like it.
Photo courtesy of Aaron Burden.
Major
I earned my Associate of Arts at Portland Community College in 2011. Transferred to University of California, Berkeley to work toward a degree in Linguistics. Withdrew three months later for a lot of well-intended reasons, but mostly because I fell in love. Moved to Seattle. Fumbled through a few classes here and there, but ultimately abandoned any dreams of getting my Bachelor’s. Of earning a university degree.
Most of that was because I couldn’t see my own future. Couldn’t see a time when I would need or really want anything enough to spend years working for it. Never imagined I’d be around long enough to earn it anyway. Like most things in life, I just couldn’t motivate myself to care. Depression is sneaky like that. So often it comes wrapped up in apathy.
But lately I’ve been thinking about it again. Not because I’m unhappy with where I am in life right now. I love my job, my partner, my apartment. Not because I feel like I need a degree to feel good about who I am. Not even because I want to make my parents proud. Instead of all the usual reasons, it’s because I really want to learn as much as I can about something. Want to stretch and grow. Want to expand. It’s not the destination, but all the little pieces on the way. The only thing that sounds fascinating from the beginning and truly never ends.
As soon as I realized I understood I’d known what my major is supposed to be since my senior year of high school. When Fred Baumgartner took over my sixth period and changed the way I view an entire subject: mathematics.
After that it was Mark Brosz. Then Bryan Johns. It took three teachers for me to finally get that it wasn’t just a fluke. Some amazing luck that I’d had three people make something seem fascinating. That helped, of course, but the real reason was because I love this subject.
When preparing to go back to school the last time, I brushed up on my pre-calculus for my placement test. I spent hours solving equations for a month and never felt bored or frustrated by it. No matter how hard to figure it always had a solution (even if that solution was undefined). I took graph paper and a textbook on my honeymoon to Hawaii and did math on the beach while my then husband read. I’d never been more content. Haven’t really been since.
Yes, I’m still awful at simple arithmetic. Yes, it probably takes me longer than a lot of people to figure things out. But math makes sense. It makes me happy. It makes me want for a future. And I can’t imagine anything more important than that.
Photo courtesy of Carlos Martinez.
Ruby Pipes 